too bad you live with your parents still
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
