you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
