Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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