if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
