Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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