Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
