Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
