Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
