Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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