..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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