You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
