he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
