I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize