I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
