You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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