is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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