I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
vagina is talking i cant
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
