I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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