She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Randomize
