she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
