His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
