will power is for people who don't want to get laid
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
