Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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