I smell stomach acid.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
