You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
