Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
im six kinds of drunk right now
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
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