his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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