thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
