her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize