just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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