conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
