i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
high people should be assigned attendants
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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