He disabled his match.com account in front of me
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
