I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
