Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
