Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
