Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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