this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
