I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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