I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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