Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
