so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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