I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
