I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
