Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
