ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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