OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
