He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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