its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
