Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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