How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
