Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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