i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
