Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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