What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize