Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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