OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize