I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
