Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
