why didn't you poke me back
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
