That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just cropdusted the office
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
